Growing Pains
(Florence + The Machine - Addicted to Love)

I know I haven't written in awhile but such is the pace of life these days that I really do not have time to sit and reflect much. There's always something to do now that I have a full-fledged career, got married and . I also need to support all the new adult debt I've acquired in the past couple of years. I thought owning a condo was a big step and tons of responsibility. I've entered the next phase with this house and it seems as though there isn't enough I can do to catch up.

And it would almost seem as though there's some negativity in my voice but there are definitely positives to all of this. As painful as the work and effort put into growing up, the reward is what keeps us all going isn't it? I mean we all do this to realize the dream of one day having a family and owning a house where we can watch our kids grow up, don't we?

Which gets me to what I've been thinking about lately...

It seems as though the older I get, the more accelerated my growth and maturity occur. I remember trying to understand myself and struggling with figuring out who I was and how I was going to accomplish things in life. Wishing I could just solve the puzzle and get to the finish line sooner. I didn't really appreciate the process as much.

These days, things are happening at such a fast pace that I am a bit scared that life is simply going to pass me by. How do I slow down the pace and simply enjoy the adventure more? Am I destined to simply spend all my hours working and supporting the family and renovating/maintaining the house? I keep joking with my friends telling them that "This is my nightmare!", but the reality is that it's part of the dream I've always wanted for myself only now that I've arrived, it's overwhelming.

I'm hoping and I suspect that I am right that the pace of life is like a bell curve. You spend your early years really struggling to find yourself and equip yourself with the best tools to succeed in life. It's a slow process. Then as you hit your 30's, you know your goals and your dreams are no longer the pipe type and you're well equipped to fulfill them. Fast forward to your mid to late 30's and now you've hit the ground running and before you know it, you've got a family, a full-fledged career and you spend your weekends fixing things around the house and making sure the kids are well-adapted for the same journey you took. By the time you hit your 50's your kids are (hopefully) no longer as dependent on you and are making good decisions based on their wonderful upbringing. Now is when things slow down for you and you sit back and enjoy watching your kids face the same challenges. Your career is no longer going up but rather holding steady until you're ready to retire.

This is when I hope to sit back and fondly reminisce and reflect upon the sometimes slow, sometimes fast-paced rollercoaster ride that was/is my life.

Back in Black
(Sigur Ros - Hoppipolla)

So I'm back...it's been awhile but things got busy. Busy but still fun. That's the key to keeping a nice steady and balanced life. You can work as hard as you want as long as you keep it fun and interesting. Here's a good example. We have a group chat at work that allows us to ask our coworkers work-related questions. Here's a conversation we had the other day.

[Kynan] Is there a way to reset the admin password outside of the admin client?

[Zak] arg ..
[Zak] don't ask these questions ..
[Kynan] eg. the admin forgets
[Kynan] it's your man Woody
[Zak] log in as scheduler
[Kynan] he wants to write up a stored procedure to reset the password in case of problems like that
[Zak] change it
[Zak] we won't support that shit
[Kynan] I told him
[Zak] you know the answer ..
[Zak] :P
[Kynan] Hey Woody,

So, while your script may probably work, Varicent does not support or condone any manipulation of the model database outside of using the Varicent Admin client frontend.

Historically, I have found that if the model appears to have been tampered with, our Support group may classify problems as ‘customer created’, which can cause issues and delays.
I wouldn’t recommend using a script or stored procedure like this for that reason.

Khiem: you type quick

varicent: [jameslane1] Speedy

Khiem: gonzalez

varicent: [Zak] that's what she said

Khiem: she's just a smalltown girl

varicent: [Kynan] living in a lonely woooorld
[Zak] she took the mid night train
[Zak] going anywhere
[Kynan] he was a city boy
[Zak] born and raised in south Detroit

Khiem: I started the lyrics to don't stop believing on a chat
my life is complete

varicent: [Zak] fuck Khiem
[jameslane1] Ha

Khiem: tell Woody if he messes with the backend he's gonna be a smalltown girl living in a lonely world b/c support isn't going to help him

varicent: [Zak] LOL


Ok lots to update but not so much time to organize my thoughts. So I'm gonna just spout the first things that come to mind.

Sonia and I just bought a house. It's ridonkulously expensive but it's in the same neighbourhood we've lived in the last 3 years and it's also on the subway line, which is important. Our house is a bungalow with a finished basement and 2 elevators. That's right, 2 elevators. It was owned previously by a couple that was handicapped so they installed two elevators to go from the basement to the main floor. Now I'm looking for a little man in a suit to operate the elevator when we move in.

The week after we bought our house, we sold our condo. It sold on the first day it showed and we got very close to what we had asked for which was nice. Special thanks to our real estate broker Jojo and our friendly staging pro Anna.

I went to a work conference two weeks ago in Phoenix, AZ where I did a presentation in front of 70+ people. First time, and surprisingly I wasn't as nervous as I thought I'd be. I guess practicing my presentation countless times and being prepared actually helped. Go figure. I remember being deathly afraid of public speaking in high school but I think I've made strides over the last 5 years. Which goes to show you, there isn't a crutch you can't overcome. Whether that's building an elevator because you are in a wheelchair or whether that's developing a skill you never thought you had. I don't know if that last statement was awful or motivational. #youdecide

Also managed to win about $1000 at the poker tables on the last night there. The $1000 will be going towards my new bbq for the new house. Can't wait to furnish my favourite part of the house! While Sonia is preparing her grand plans for renovating the kitchen, I'm preparing my plans for my dream patio. It involves a Weber bbq, patio lanterns, an above ground fireplace and a nice patio furniture set. T-29 days before we move in. Can't wait!

Overwhelmed
(Kristy McNichol - Hold On)

Still overwhelmed at work. Too many projects, too little time. Also very stressed and nervous about that upcoming conference I'm suppose to speak at. No it's not "Fatherhood, the Journey". That's later in the year. Get your tickets before they're sold out. Actually the conference I'm speaking at in May is a company conference for all of our clients where I'm suppose to speak about implementation best practices. Not entirely exciting but a good career move I've been told.

You know what soothes my soul when I get overwhelmed and stressed like this? The first thing is good food. Probably one of my favourite Vietnamese dishes involves fresh spring rolls with noodles, veggies, herbs and either shrimp, pork or both. Favourite herb to put in my rolls? Wait for it...fish mint. Yes I know it's not a very popular mint because of the name and strong taste but for some reason my palette just loves it. I had this dish with the wife yesterday. I am still craving it as we speak.

Here's what fish mint looks like...



http://vietherbs.com/herb-directory/fish-herb/

The second part that soothes my soul when I'm stressed involves a cheesy 80's movie. Just got my Pirate Movie dvd in the mail the other day only to realize that it was in PAL format (British format) and is incompatible with my dvd player. Nothing a little pirated software I got called WinX DVD Ripper platinum didn't solve though. Yup, you got it -- I used pirated software to convert my Pirate Movie. The irony!

Not sure how many people actually know this movie but it's an 80's musical based on the Pirates of Penzance starring Christopher Atkins and Kristy McNichol. Kristy looks exactly as I remembered her. I wonder what she looks like now. Actually I don't care what she looks like now, I'd rather remember her when she was in her prime...the way I wish to be remembered when I'm gone. For those wondering what I looked like in my prime...I was 125 lbs soaking wet and looked awesome in a wrestling singlet. Not like these guys below. Actually completely opposite to these guys below.



Anyhow, what calms and eases your soul when you're stressed out? I'd love to hear. I'd also love to hear what your favourite cheesy 80's movies are.

Forget the Rest
(Modest Mouse - Float On)

So it's been a crazy busy couple of weeks at work. I'm fully engaged on a very complicated, under budgeted and poorly scoped project and I'm supporting an overseas client that does not know the meaning of a 12 hour time difference. I also have an internal project I'm working on and prepping for a presentation I'm doing at our annual company user conference. But enough of the bitching and complaining...

Just a few random observations from the past few weeks...

Have you ever noticed that whenever you order chicken nuggets from McDonald's that there's always that one person that asks you if they could steal a nugget? Now let's forget the simple fact that guys do not typically share food. The only time they share food is with women they're trying to get to sleep with them and women they're deathly afraid of (but still want to sleep with them). Now I'd like to propose a simple rule that we should live by here and please remember this one well.

Thou shalt not ask a man for a chicken nugget if he has ordered a 6-pack lest you want to be punched in the face. The punching in the face part may be a bit harsh but have you ever tried to take food from a dog that's hungry? They will bite your finger right off. A 6-pack is about the exact size to satisfy a man's appetite. A 10-pack at times I feel is slightly overeating unless I'm starving. 5 nuggets would simply be one short of being full. You never want to just partially fill a man's stomach up. That's like a torturous game of "just the tip" in the bedroom. I don't think I can drive that analogy home any clearer. Sharing a 10-pack = ok. Sharing a 6-pack = punch in the face.

Second thing I noticed this week is that just like Seinfeld said, muffin-tops are really the best part of a muffin. I can't tell you how painful and anti-climactic it is to finish off the bottom of the muffin. I mean you have to peel the paper off and then it's all soft and crumbles in your hand. It's not ideal to eat at all. I mean the best part about the muffin-top is that it's crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside. It allows that nice contrast and makes half the mess the bottom of the muffin makes! Someone seriously needs to open up a Muffin-Tops Store near my place. They could sell muffins and low-riding jeans!

Third and final thing I thought about this week is how it used to be cool to wear messenger bags; satchels; manpurses. From what I remember it was definitely cool in university. Now when I wear a sidebag of any sort, unless it's for work, I feel completely out of sorts. Like I'm some sort of lost soul. Which brings me to my 2nd rule of the week.

Thou shalt not wear a messenger bag/satchel/manpurse unless work calliths upon thee. It is also appropriate to wear one on a long soul-searching journey like Kwai Chang Kain.



However, this is only appropriate if you cannot find a stick and a large tied up handkerchief for the journey like this guy.



It is definitely inappropriate to wear one out on a social event.



Not cool man. Not cool.

Lastly I'd like to mention that I'm still on the p90x wagon and so far I've lost about 2 lbs in about a week, though that could simply be because people have been stealing my nuggets. Hopefully by the end of this week I can gauge to see if I've actually made any improvements on my weight and fitness. Talk to you all soon.

Shock and Awe
(Snow Patrol - Run)

In high school I used to joke around with my friends at the time that if my girl ever got to *insert arbitrary weight for given height here* lbs, that I'd have to put her on the "program". The program being any sort of workout/diet program that would put her below that acceptable threshold. Of course at the time I was 5'8" and 125 lbs soaking wet. It's easier to throw stones when you don't live in a glass house that's 10000 sq ft and has 100 rooms.

Fast forward 15 years later and I have crossed my own personal threshold (170 lbs) for obesity and I have started the dreaded "program". The program involves 6 days a week of intense workout and watching what I eat.

I'm not sure how I let myself go this far but there are a few hypotheses.

1) As you get older, you become less active and spend most of your day sitting at a desk job staring at a computer.

2) As you get older, your metabolism slows down.

and my personal favourite...

3) Relationship gut. When you are in a committed relationship you a) have less time to worry about personal fitness and hygiene. b) don't care about putting an effort into looking good anymore. or c) you spend more time at home cooking and eating with the significant other.

Have you ever noticed that the more committed the person is, the bigger the gut? I think there's a direct correlation here.

Sadly I think the reason I'm so fat is all of the above.

Keep checking into this blog people...I may post pictures of my humongous belly at some point!! Yes I'm awesome. And inspiring. Awespiring.

I Mostly Have Red Pills
(Taio Cruz - Break Your Heart)

I've been catching up on tv shows lately. Here are the list of shows I've managed to watch in the last 4 weeks.

Dexter (season 4) - If you haven't seen this show yet...you're DEAD TO ME!! I mean seriously. This has got to be the best drama on TV, bar none.

Modern Family (season 1) - Some have said it's like Arrested Development meets the Office. It's a little more like the Office in the type of humour and the way they shoot it, but minus the annoying lead character (Michael Scott/Steve Carell).

How I Met Your Mother (seasons 1-4) - A little like Friends but with better characters. I mean characters that have a bit more depth. Neil Patrick Harris steals the show though. Talk about revitalizing your career.

Next up for me is True Blood (seasons 1-2). I've heard good things. Anyone a big fan of this show?

---

So I've told you about my transformation over the years from being an introvert to an extrovert. I've set out bit by bit each year to conquer my fears of human interaction. However, not all changes come without some sort of consequence/side effect. The side effect of my transformation is that although talking to people no longer makes me cringe, I sometimes make them cringe with the things that come out of my mouth. You see, when you've spent your entire life talking primarily with your "inner voice" and you attempt to vocalize that, you forget that the inner voice has no filter. So I have a hard time not saying the first thing that comes to my head. I'm trying though, really.

Now the other thing I haven't been adapting well to is that with regular human interaction, you have to deal with a lot of people who are very emotional. The filterless voice in me really wants to say moody emotion whores but let's sugarcoat this for those who can't swallow the red pill. People who are easily excited, saddened, angered, etc. Generally people who are not afraid to show how they feel.

I can't coexist with these types of people. At least not right now.

My flaw is that I lack a filter and can be insensitive at times. Their flaw is that they take everything people say literally and need to act out their emotions to make everyone else feel awkward. Sorry...filter on! Their flaw is that they can't hide their emotions and are easily hurt by what others say or do. It's like mixing gas and fire.

Now I'm obviously an evolving human being and I want to be able to handle emotional people a little better but these are the early stages of my evolution. If you can't handle a bit of brutal honesty with a lot of sarcasm, then you're DEAD TO ME!!...haha....jk. Seriously though, you always have a choice of whether you want to tolerate someone's behaviour but it's not always your choice whether they are going to change to accommodate your feelings or not.

---

So what's the next thing I'm going to try to conquer? I'm going to try to talk to random strangers more often. Just thinking about it gives me the heebeegeebees.

Moon Child
(Limahl - Neverending Story)

A few classics were on tv on the weekend. Neverending Story and Princess Bride.

Bonus points to the first person who can tell me the name Bastian gave the princess to save Fantasia from the Nothing.

Would love to hear some thoughts about the symbolism in the "Nothing". I haven't really given it much thought but maybe the Nothing is symbolic of people's lack of faith. Not lack of faith in religion but rather just believing in something. Living with some sort of purpose.

Here's a cute picture I found...



Reminds me of my dog. He's getting a bit old these days. Turning 9 years old in May. He pulled one of the muscles in his hind legs the other day jumping into the car. Now he hobbles around my sister's place. It's funny cuz he's still got the same energy as when he was 1 but his body is completely failing him. A+ for effort though.

We can't be young forever but like my dog I'm holding on as long as I can.

Momentum
(Sara Bareilles - Gravity)

So I've been travelling the last few weeks with a coworker of mine. She's a 27 year old girl who's lived her entire life as mommy and daddy's only child. As you know I have a penchant for being completely filterless (aka tactless), I told her that she lived a sheltered life and called her bubble girl. Now most of you would probably call me mean and I wouldn't blame you. Some of you though, might actually think that I'm trying to be helpful (would like to buy you guys a drink). In actuality it's probably a little of both.

It frustrates me to see people who can't see outside of their own little world. These are the people in arguments who can't see the value of another person's point of view. The people who are convinced that the way they live is the only way to live. These are also the same people who miss out on all the great opportunities life provides us.

If you are not running with your opportunities, then you are not running. Those who don't run quickly find themselves left behind.

It's hard to change, no one disputes that. Working towards change is something everyone struggles with. The attempt to change one's own momentum so that inertia acts in your favour is something I think everyone should be doing. To not even make the attempt is disheartening to me.

Inertia can be your friend or your foe, it really is up to you. If you are in a shitty place and you let inertia weigh you down, then you're giving into your own dispositions. If your relationship is broken, make changes, work on the relationship. If it ultimately does not work, be brave enough to walk away.

If you're in a great place and you're travelling a 100 miles an hour, lose yourself in the moment. Don't let life's worries and stress take it away from you.

As you get older inertia plays a bigger part in holding you back. When you've got a routine going it's really hard to change with all the intertwined responsibilities you've got. At work, at home -- it becomes something so hard to disturb and so difficult to break free of. So when you get the opportunity to change the everyday norm - suit up and gather some speed. Because you'll love the wind in your hair.

Take the opportunity to do something outside your normal routine/comfort zone. Get out. Have fun. Spring is in the air.

My Life - A Work in Progress
(Dragonette - Pick Up The Phone)

It's been 10 years since I've graduated from university. Can’t help but look back at how awesome this decade has been for me. The two biggest changes in my life? – my career and my wife. I was pretty consumed in university of finding a) my calling; and b) my partner in crime.

Finding your calling is really a smaller subset of figuring out who you are. I used to think the sooner you found yourself, the quicker you'd be able to enjoy your life. So much of defining myself after university was based on figuring out what it was I was good at and how I would make that my career. I spent my entire post secondary education trying to live up to my parents dreams instead of figuring out my own. It wasn't easy but the moment I let go of the notion that I had to follow someone else’s footsteps, I quickly paved my own path. I went back to school, did a post grad in database management and here I am today with a successful career in software and one that even my parents are proud of. Parents want you to succeed and sometimes they think the only way for you to do so is to follow the path they've laid out for you. Well, I’m telling you that you can pave your own path and most of the time this is in line with what your parents want for you. If it isn't, at least you did it on your own terms.

Similarly finding your partner in crime is also reaffirming who you are. If you can find someone who you enjoy spending your time with, who can understand your worries and fears, who can share the things in life you find important, and can share in your dreams -- then you’ve got a great grasp of what are the components of your life that make you happy. That’s you in a nutshell. And all the painful iterations of loving and losing seem all worth it in the end.

It really has been an incredible decade for me.

I’m waiting for someone to interrupt me here and say, “Khiem, I’m happy for you and I’mma let you finish but my decade was the greatest decade of all time. OF ALL TIME!” Anyone?...anyone?...no…I didn’t think so.

(The Stars - Undertow)

Haven't listened to the Sad Robots album by the Stars in awhile. Great album. The irony isn't lost on me because I know a thing or two about being a robot.

Speaking of robots...I wish this robot had some heavy artillery so I could use them to shoot my clients.

While here in Malaysia starting a new project with another client. An old client of mine emailed me this...


Hi,

We need to resolve the issue of transposing the result of “TST298734” - AccountPlan data into 12 columns at the earliest since the natives are getting restless.

We also need to close out the following with your help:
1) TST00073987 - UAT: Query Library Accruals Report Issues --- since this has been tracked for a while. I think the resolution is as easy as checking all components and making sure data comes up.
2) TST00064821 - Formal: ReportsTo Tree --- show how to add people to reports to tree as the Task generation does not add any new payee. Also you cannot create new rules under reports to tree.

Please advise a time that works for this discussion.
Thanks
Client


Now if you're wondering who the natives are -- they're Indians that live off the land AND work for my client.

So here's the typical responses that go back and forth between us...

"I'm not sure I have time to look at these items this week as I'm at a client site and I am 14 hrs ahead from you guys. When do you need these completed?"

"Oh we need this fix by yesterday...we need it urgently for the next release that's happening this week...when can you work on it? You're 14 hrs ahead of us?...then you should be available to do a quick meeting at 7 am your time/5 pm our time right?"

"Ughh...yeah I guess I can be available at 7 am my time for a quick meeting. I can't guarantee I'll have time to work on it this week but I'll see what I can do. If you need this urgently, I would suggest you contact _____ and he can help get a resource to work on this right away."

"Great...and we'll send out a recurring meeting every night at 10 pm your time or 8 am our time to get a status on the progress."

"Ughh...I'm not sure I'll always be available but sure."

"Well we'll schedule it and if you're not available, just let us know and we'll reschedule."

"Sure."

"Great!...Really appreciate your help on this!"

---

Now this is usually how I get roped into doing an extra 10-15 hrs of work each week at night after I get home from working at my existing client office. And after I complete the items, there's usually a few days silence before I get the next wave of requests the following week. Sometimes I'll if I'm lucky I won't get responses from them for months.

---

Then 3 months later we'll have this typical exchange...

"We need a fix on this test item because it needs to be completed for our next migration."

"Didn't I fix this 3 months ago?"

"Yes but we just tested it and didn't see any results in the report...it was blank."

"Did you test in DEV or TST?...cuz my fix was in DEV and I told you guys how to migrate it to TST the last time you had an urgent release."

"Ughh...we tested it in TST. Oh we see the results in DEV now. We must have forgot to migrate it last time."

"Wasn't it urgent that it made it into that release 3 months ago?"

"Yes...and it's even more urgent for this phase. Can you help us migrate it?"

---

This is why I need fricken lazers on my head. FML, I'm going to bed.